Pirate King

So all of a sudden spring came with a tide of gifts for me ❤ Firstly, my older brother messaged me last month and apologized for distancing himself from us siblings and how he will be coming back to Canada for two weeks this summer to handle my mother’s situation. And wow, finally not being the only older sibling trying to handle this situation is nice and such a burden lifted off my shoulders :) secondly, my funding got sorted and now i can take my last year of uni 😁 as much as i tried to be positive and happy these last few months (and for the most part i was) it’s easier for the spirit to be light when big burdens are gone ~

I wonder if you can die from an overload of stress.  I mean I keep it under control pretty well and smile and help other friends out, but I feel so overwhelmed. I feel like I’m suffocating under the stress and I cry for no reason or over the littlest things and this happens in PUBLIC.  I cry so much in public its’ embarrassing.  Like I am so stressed out and it’s hard talking about it because people are always quick to jump in with “oh I understand” or “life is too short to stress, I would know” or “others have it worse” like then don’t ask me if all you’re gonna do is give me shit lil five word sentences as comfort.  and I try and focus on the positives, like having an apartment and not living with my toxic parents and being independent, but sometimes the bad and stressful things are bigger than that. like all I want is to finish my bachelor’s degree which life is not letting me and making it hard to get funding to pay my tuition fees ( before the uni put me through a collection agency and my credit is ruined), and like I work so hard and I try and never complain in real life, and i try to help others and i try to be happy and like why can’t the simplest things work for me????  like i legit just want to finish uni. what the fuck have I done?  I got stuck with shitty unlovable parents, shitty economic situation and I fucking work so hard and try and I still can’t even finish a shitty bachelor’s degree.